How I can know my son's future, right NOW!

I know it has been some time since my last post...but I DO have to save something for the book, right? ;-)






We all want our children to achieve their highest goals and dreams in their lives. We, at least most of us, don't want their achievements in life to be limited by any outside force, whether it be society as a whole, cultural norms, race, gender, where they live, their friends and family, etc.  Most of us want our children to achieve greater things than we, as parents, have possibly ever imagined for ourselves.  


It is a humbling experience, when I begin to think about all the things my son could achieve in the future.  Fifteen years from now...what will he be doing?  Will he be addressing his high school graduating class, as the valedictorian, while his dad is watching in the audience...unable to maintain his composure...armed with 3 boxes of Kleenex?  


Thirty years from now, will he already have a job and a family? What hobbies and interest will he have then?  What would life and its experiences have taught him by that time? 


Fifty years from now, what would he have built?  Will he be a business owner?  Will he already be retired?  How many grandchildren will he have in 2061?


There are so many questions about my son's future that continually swirl around in my head.  However, there is one question that used to be on the forefront of all of the other questions, as I pondered Daniel's future.


Will I be around to see all of these things take place?


Allow me to again mention that the above, used to be a question in my mind.  It is not a question I have anymore.


Not because I have some reason to believe that I will live long enough to see, in person,  ANY of these events in which I imagine him participating. Neither is it because I have reason not to think I will live that long.  Nor would it be because there is any reason to believe that none of these events will happen...or that there would be some separation between my son and I, that would preclude me from being present at any of these occasions.   


Its not even because I think the question of whether I will be able to see my son's graduation, his mayoral run, his first book, or any other event after he becomes an adult, is an irrelevant question.  It a totally relevant question...and I would imagine that most parents wonder about these things from time to time.  


The reason I don't have that question in my mind anymore...is because I'VE ALREADY SEEN ALL OF THESE THINGS.


Now, please understand, I am no psychic or medium, neither am I in possession of any crystal-like ball, tarot cards, or any tool of the like...I've never even believed in astrology.


But yet I do KNOW, because I've seen it!


Allow me to briefly explain, how I can know this.  


Before my son, Daniel, was born, a couple of weeks before my wife and I at the time, found out that she was pregnant with him....I felt him.  Its difficult to explain exactly HOW I felt him...or describe what that feeling was like, but I indeed felt his spirit inside of me. 


The best way I can describe it is like an emotion.  But an emotion like none I had felt before, so I didn't know how to process it.  It was a very deep emotion and very strong...kind of like being extremely happy about something, or deeply saddened...however this emotion was nothing like those.  The closest I can liken it to, was a deep encouragement.  Sort of like the feeling you would get if someone you admired and respected a great deal, came up to you and told you how they had noticed something wonderful about you that you perhaps did not realize...and they encouraged you with the most incredible and inspiring words you can imagine.  It felt something like that emotion.


But when I felt my son's spirit, I didn't hear any words...I only felt his name...Daniel....along with his spirit.  I was sitting down and I could feel his entire life flash inside of me in an instant.  Keep in mind that we not trying to get pregnant...well...we weren't not-not trying either, but you get the point.  We hadn't even discussed the possibility of her being pregnant with our son.  But a few weeks later when we found out she was pregnant...I knew he would be a boy...and I knew that his name would be Daniel.


Again, I don't believe that this is anything clairvoyant...or mystical...just that there is so much of me inside of him, and vice versa, that after he was conceived, I could not help but to feel his presence.  


And as for the events in his future...his accomplishments...his stumbles...his recoveries...his achievements of goals beyond any his father ever dreamed of...


I know my son's future, because I know that as his father...I will always tell him that he can do ANYTHING he wants and that he never has to be afraid of ANYTHING.  I will never, ever leave him alone, or let him forget for one minute that he is the most important thing that has ever happened to me.  I will never stop telling him that if God never blesses me with anything else, it would have been enough, because I was blessed my son.


I know his future, because even now, I still have to fight back the tears (a fight I rarely win) when I look at him, or when I think about him...or especially when I write about him. 


I know his future, because every book he has in school, his daddy will have one at home, and he will understand how important his education is.


I know his future, because when his daddy tells him that he's going to do something...that's exactly what his daddy does.


I know his future, because I will never make him feel unimportant, or as an afterthought.  I know his future, because no matter what, I will always honor, love and respect his mother, and will always keep an open back seat for my ego.


I will tell him that you share this world with everyone else...but your world belongs to you...make sure its a beautiful place!




Of course, Daniel is only 3.5, so for right now, instead of high school and college graduation speeches, mayoral runs and leadership awards...its jumping remote-controlled monster trucks off of top of the stairs with his daddy.


And that's just fine with me....

Daniel..wins the Championship...and teaches Daddy another lesson.

As I am sure you know, 3-year olds are a bundle of pure energy.  It’s amazing how much energy little boys and girls have inside, and it’s never more apparent than when they are at play.  Watching your child at play is an experience of pure joy, but playing along with them, can also bring you new revelations about life....and about yourself.  

My son and I were playing football in the house this past weekend.  Normally we’d go outside for such an activity, but it was pretty cold, so inside we stayed.  We were playing catch with a soft football in the living room, and as was frequently the case, he wasn’t catching most of my tosses to him.  Actually, none of them.  He has this tendency to jump upwards while trying to catch the ball, with his hands spread wide apart.  Of course, the ball would bounce off of his hands, or he’d miss it completely.  Now, big round balls pose no problem for Daniel, as he’s mastered catching those, with ease.  However, footballs have been somewhat of a challenge, up to this point.  Sure, daddy isn’t Peyton Manning out there, but my spirals are pretty tight, I’ll have you know!  As Daniel would miss each catch (from his dad’s golden arm), he never seemed to be bothered by it in the least bit.    

His constant laughter was just as pure on the 20^th dropped pass, as it was on the first...and his enthusiasm never waivered.  

Now, I could have made my throws easier to for Daniel to catch, by standing a foot away and tossing the ball to him in a soft, underhanded motion, but where’s the fun in that?  In my mind, you practice how you play...and they don’t throw underhanded in little league football, or in the NFL for that matter, so we don’t do it in the house.   Plus, I believe that young children, adapt to challenges much more easily and much quicker than adults.  They learn from challenges...and obstacles...so much better that we do, because they aren’t confined to the same constraining “rules” that adults have learned over the years.  And my son certainly proved that fact to me during this particular play session.

We started with throws from about 6 feet apart, and he missed every catch.  But then...instead of wanting to move closer to catch the ball more easily...Daniel ran to the other end of the room, and said, “Throw it Daddy!”...so I begin to throw my perfect spiral passes to him (well...most of them were), from about 25 feet away, and as before, he’d miss every catch.  So after about, 20 more “perfect” throws and 20 more misses...he still wanted more.  And then I thought to myself....well, in real football, the wide-receiver doesn’t just stand out there and wait for the quarterback to throw the ball.  They run a “route”, from the line of scrimmage, get open, and then catch the ball.  So, since that’s how the game is played, I decided that instead of making it easier for him to catch the ball, I would “up the ante” and add some “route running” to our play.  

So, I would have Daniel stand next to me (on the line of scrimmage), and told him to run across the room after I said “hike!”... he’d turn around, and catch the ball.

I would call out a play...just like in a real football game, like the one’s we’ve watched together many times before... ”Blue 48...Blue 48...Play-Doh, Play-Doh...hut...hut...hut...HIKE!”  And Daniel would take off running (but not before I said “hike”...when I said “hut”, he didn’t move...which I thought was amazing), and after about 10-15 feet, laughing and smiling the whole time, he’d turn around, as the ball was already in the air.....reach to catch it....and miss it.

We did this over and over again, and I could tell that even a high-powered toddler like Daniel, was getting a bit tired.  I said to him, “Daniel, are you ready to stop?”  He said, “No, Daddy...throw it!” as he would line up once again, on the line of scrimmage...next to me.  (Heart of a champion!)  Now, this little man was really tired...as at this point he’s already run about 20 wide-receiver routes consecutively...after missing about 30 passes before...but at no point was he ready to quit...and daddy wasn’t going to stop either...we kept going!  

He was determined to catch a running pass...but I was beginning to think that perhaps I was making it too difficult for him.  So I was going to try it this way...one more time, and then go to tossing the ball underhanded to him from about 2 feet away.  But before I did that.. I wanted to get Daniel’s route running on tape...so we could study his technique in the “film room” later on.  So I pulled out my phone...and I said to him...”Ok, Daniel...this if for the championship...I’m going to film you...everybody is watching...we have to score now!”  He’s so amped up by this time (my son loves the camera), he’s almost flagged for lining up in the neutral zone...and I had to move him back to the line of scrimmage.  This was for all of the marbles....and here is what transpired...

Ok, ok, I know...I got a bit excited there at the end...borderline fanatical...but what can I say...I love being a dad!

I’m learning so much about myself....just from interactions with my son.  In this instance, he reminded me of what I know so well...but sometimes forget...you have to keep on pressing...even if you haven’t succeeded the last 50 times you’ve tried...it doesn’t even matter how many times you’ve failed...count it all as practice...as preparation for when the spotlight is on, and it’s your time to shine!  Your focus, determination, and faith...will make you victorious!

I don’t think Daniel even remembered dropping any of the previous passes...he was focused only on what he needed to do RIGHT NOW.   And no, the road isn’t always going to be easy for us...but those challenges and obstacles only make us stronger...and more determined... the ingredients of WINNING in the first place!  And the victory is so sweet!

Daniel’s Dad