A Soldier's Story: Severely outnumbered...a dad bravely goes into battle armed with Dr. Seuss!

Last month, my son had his pre-birthday party at his school.  All of the kids have parties at the school, where the parents bring cake and or cupcakes, or ice-cream, or whatever, to share with their son or daughter's classmates.  This is usually done in addition to whatever party the parents throw for their child that weekend, and it s a good idea just in case everyone from the class wasn't necessarily invited to the other party (more kids...more cost...an issue for many in this economy).


So, a couple of weeks ago, when it was Daniel's turn to party with his classmates, his mom brought cupcakes with gummy worms (always a favorite), and set up the table in the kids cafeteria in preparation for his class' arrival.  When Daniel and his 9 classmates arrived in the cafeteria to this nice surprise, the other kids were buzzing with excitement.  "Daniel, Daniel...you're having a party...its your birthday!!!", one of his classmates exclaimed.  They were all shouting and energized, as they prepared to tear into those cupcakes.  Daniel, who is like the Fonz in Happy Days to his classmates...only 10 times cooler, gave a sly smile with an expression on his face like "yeah, what did you expect...I AM the man you know..."  Just too cool. (I was NEVER that cool when I was little)


So we were all sitting down with Daniel, the other kids, and his teacher, as they munched on cupcakes and plotting on eating someone else's cupcake..... the 3 year-old, inquisitive, pondering, questions began.....fired in succession from every which direction like a BP press conference...."You're Daniel's dad, aren't you?"  "Does Daniel get to go home after this?"  "Are those glasses you're wearing?" "How old are you?"  "You have a green shirt!"  "Is Daniel going to have another party?"  

But my responses were just as rapid and engaging.  I guess I really enjoyed the attention from Daniel's classmates, and I was soaking up every minute of it!  I started asking them questions...what was their favorite food...favorite book...did they REALLY like strawberry gummy worms...what did they learn in school today...what was everyone's name.  I then started pointing out similarities between everyone, like "Heather, you have a blue shirt...who else at the table has a blue shirt?"  One thing you learn from being around a bunch of 3 year-olds, is if you ask one a question, you may have well asked everyone the same question....because they will ALL answer...loudly.  But I enjoyed talking with them so much...they kept asking me more questions...and I LOVE answering questions, so I kept obliging them.  Daniel seem to give the other kids this look like, "you all don't realize what you've started...my dad loves this type of attention."


So after we all ate cupcakes, and it was time to go, Daniel's teacher pulled me to the side and said "You were really good with the kids, you should come back again some day soon."  And you know I jumped at the opportunity.  I said, "Of course, I could read them some stories." "That would be great." Daniel's teacher said.  (If she only knew at the time...what she was unleashing....Dame?  A captive audience...all watching me...PLUS I'm Daniel's dad...which gives me street cred....its ON!)  The chances of me ending up in a straight jacket...or otherwise carted out...were now extremely high.

So I arrive  at Daniel's school yesterday...armed with "One Fish, Two Fish.." and "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss in one hand, and "Dewey Does It" and several backup books in the other hand.  I was ready for anything...ready for battle...but as nervous as if I was getting ready to speak in front of 1000 people.  

My mission: To captivate this audience of ten 3 year-old children, while not breaking anything...getting sidetracked into a discussion of quantum mechanics or economics with the kids....embarrassing my son and costing him somewhere between 3 and 5 "cool points"...passing out from the pressure...frightening or otherwise emotionally scarring a 3 year-old...or otherwise not being invited to come back.  

The pressure was on...but I was equal to the task.  


As I walked in Daniel's classroom, he was busy with a complex puzzle of fruits and veggies and didn't notice me...but two of the kids did...and not just any two...but Karma and Brianna...the other two pieces of the Daniel Love Triangle...seriously, its like a soap opera..."two young ladies vying for the attention of  one young man...friends on the surface...but inside....each plotting on the other...who will win the affection of the handsome Daniel??? Who will end up with his purple Ring-Pop???  Only time will tell...stay tuned..for..." Anyway, I'm getting off the subject...I'll save that one for another post.


But anyway, those two girls immediately hollered out..."Daniel, Daniel...your Daddy is HEEEERRRREEE!"  Almost simultaneously, like each one wanted to be the first to let him know.  So, he looks over, with a confused-like smile...like "what..hold up...wait a minute...what is this???....no....no....REALLY???... really..dad..dad....WHAT are you about to do???...do NOT embarrass me in here...please tell me you are bringing me my favorite jacket because I left it....ok...dad...whatever you are here for...just try to remember there are two pretty girls in here that like me...and I'm trying to play it cool..."  (all in one look...we just have that soft of connection...but anyway) The teacher explained to the class that Daniel's dad was going to read some stories to them.  


So to make a long story short...I KILLED!  (In a comedic and entertaining sense of course)  If there is ONE thing Daniel's Daddy can do...that is read a story...but I don't just read the story...we were jumping and running and stomping and raising left foots..and other left foots...for an hour, I had total reign...and I went absolutely bonkers...and so did the kids.  At one point, I looked over to Daniel's teacher who was in the class and she had this look that was like 'Ok, there is something wrong with this man...I never knew he was crazy...how is he not in an institution?"  But that was my moment!  I was going to milk it for everything it was worth.  Plus it was a chance to make my son proud...which it appeared that I did...and to be the cool dad (I always wondered what that felt like)...and I succeeded! Plus I wasn't thrown out!  Good times.


Later after school, when I picked Daniel up, I asked him...."So did you enjoy having daddy come and read to your class?"   "Yes", he said.  "You want daddy to come back and read to you all again, don't you."  "NO!", he replied.  


But I understood.  Its not that I embarrassed him or anything...but he probably just doesn't like sharing the Best Dad EVER! At least, that's the way I interpreted it! lol


Here's to the dad's out there...do it all...go crazy...get silly...but whatever you do...BE THE BEST DAD EVER!


Much love,


Daniel's Dad