I stand, watching over you
In a dim lit room, the silence, the stillness
As you sleep, my thoughts move through the space between us
Softly, sweetly they approach the doorway
Seeds in one hand, tightly grasped
The other hand empty, yet ready
With warm palm lines crossing and stretching from however, to whenever, to wherever
Opening the door, seeing a boundless world of anything
Time standing still, as still as I stand, watching over you
Seeking to plant all that I have
Seeds in hand, not all my own
Some seeds from there, some from back then
Others from yet to be, but all from up there
Sifted through wisdom, these few remain, yet plenty
Each chosen with a purpose clear, to take root in this place, unbound
Nourished with the soil of peaceful slumber
Watered by the rain that falls
As I stand watching over you
I plant each seed with steadfast care
The soft ground opening, eagerly reaching from my hand
It grasps quickly as I plant, my pace hastens to match
My other hand free, palm held patiently upwards, ready
Only begun, yet already growing beyond imagination
Each seed, with a purpose, a boundless garden
For you who sleeps so silently, and makes the rain fall
A garden to supply your journey to where your heart leads
Safe from a world that would seek to trample, what was so carefully planted
With seeds from struggle, seeds of hope, seeds for your dreams
The greatest gift I can give, as I stand watching over you
A garden of anything, of everything you want to be
With colors unseen, sounds unheard, tasting life abundant
For you, to live and go wherever you want, it is my deepest prayer
But if you lose your way, and you slip and fall from your garden
Take my other hand, I kept it free and ready, palms upward
To catch you, to guide you back to your dreams
Whenever, however, wherever you find yourself, my son
We will plant another garden together, you and I
So let not a tear fall from your eyes
I promise, my dear son, the time will come for tears, you will see
Save them for the one that will make the rain fall, when they sleep
As you stand watching over them
For my dear son, and the greatest gift of my life. Daniel, I love you in a place and a time that can only be truly measured in your dreams, as they are boundless.
Daddy
We generally set aside today, Thanksgiving Day, as a day of gratitude for all the things we are blessed with in our lives. Yet, we all know that truly everyday is a day of gratitude, a day of thanksgiving, a day to reflect on our family, our health, our children, our shelter...everything, even the small things, that we sometimes take for granted.
With the recent economic decline, some of us have had a tough year or couple of years. Many people have lost their homes, their way of life, many...if not all..of their possessions, yet the persevere, because they know they have so many other blessings in their life in which to be thankful. And if you are a parent, you know that there are times when the road of life may get a little bumpy...and full of twists and turns, but you know you can never give up, because there is someone depending on you, looking at you, inspired by you, and learning from you. You know that when you look at your children, no matter how dark the day may seem around you, there is a light...a brighter day, radiating from their presence in your life. Making you smile when perhaps there wasn't a lot to smile about that day...making an otherwise dreary, depressing day....an amazing, incredibly wonderful day, because they reminded you of what was most important in your life.
I am thankful for being Daniel's dad. Nothing in my life gives me as much joy, and I am thankful to God. No matter where I go, or what I accomplish in life, it will always pale in comparison to the fact that I am a father...his father. So I will always have plenty to be thankful for, more than I could ever repay. Being a dad is my greatest title, and one that I will spend every day of my life continuing to earn, as every day is a new opportunity to be the BEST DADDY EVER.
Dads, take some time out today, and reflect on the relationship you have with your child, and what that relationship means to you. Make a commitment to be a better daddy every day of your life. Treat every day you have with them, every moment you spend with them....with the gratitude that such a blessing requires. The feeling you get is indescribable, and it gets better and better every day. Earn the title...BEST DADDY EVER everyday of your life. Its a title that no one can bestow upon you, or take away from you...you earn with your dedication to your child or children, your commitment to them, your selflessness, and by being a consistent figure and positive force in their life.
Be the BEST DADDY EVER...everyday.
In one of my other blogs, I wrote about the importance of a strong foundation...you can see it here. I talked about how the Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt--built over 4500 years ago and still, of course, standing to this very day--was so meticulously crafted out of millions of stones, some weighing 80 tons, and how the Egyptians workers toiled for nearly 20 years to build it. I spoke about how incredible a feat it was to build such a structure as the Great Pyramid, especially when one considers the tools in which the ancient Egyptians had at their disposal, the amount of attention to every possible detail of its construction, the brutal labor of tens of thousands of workers, and how scientists, to this day, are still not completely sure how the Egyptians were able to construct it.
I also shared that had the ancient Egyptians not been so meticulous...so committed...so driven to perfection and overcoming the challenge that was before them, that the great structure that we've all seen on television (and some in person) would not be here today. The pyramid would have been eroded by the sands of time, and its purpose, a tomb for the pharaoh in his journey in the afterlife, would not have been served. In other words, everything had to be constructed in the manner it was, so that its purpose would be served. And that purpose had to be of great importance to the builder. Paramount importance.
My summation, is that the most important question pertaining to the pyramids, or any other great endeavor, or vision, or goal...is not HOW it is done....but WHY it is done. The HOW something is built pertains to a particular method of its construction...the WHY something is built pertains to its purpose and essentially, its REAL foundation. The foundation of any building, any business, any structure, any task, any goal...anything that a person or group may create, determines how strong, how longstanding, how resistant that creation is to the elements. And what are these elements? Well, they aren't just wind and rain, but elements can also be disappointments, discouragements, difficulty, lack of funding, no help, no college degree, economic recession, or any other thing that threatens to tear down what you are building, or worse yet, keep it from being built in the first place.
Your purpose, your why...IS your foundation. And the strength of your purpose, your why, your foundation, will speak to the strength, quality and the ultimate success of what you have created.
I went into business for myself in October of 2006. I wanted to build something...create something for myself, because I no longer wanted to depend on Corporate America to earn a living. That was my why. It was a decent foundation....but it wasn't strong enough. My foundation...my why...my purpose...had flaws. It was haughty...arrogant...over zealous...based on showing everyone that I didn't need ANYONE. That I could do everything by myself...with my tongue sticking out at the world.
And because my why was flimsy..shaky...uneven...porous...when the ground began to shake and the winds of life as entrepreneur blew...my entire building...my creation...began to shake, shift, and crumble to pieces. I was about to tuck my tail in...hat in hand...and crawl back to where I knew I didn't want to be, back to Corporate America, where they paid on time, every month, and all you had to do was be what they wanted you to be, and do what they told you to do. Besides, it was good money, and money was very important to me at that time...especially when you didn't have enough clients to pay your bills, and you were used to a certain lifestyle.
I was just about to go back...when something amazing happened...something that changed my life forever. Something that gave me a new purpose to keep pursuing my vision...my dream...my creation. Something that gave me a such a foundation, a purpose, a WHY, that I had never previously known. On October 23, 2007, my purpose, my foundation, my why, my reason for trying to build something, came into this world.
My WHY has a name....Daniel. My purpose is silly and loves chocolate chip cookies. My foundation loves big trucks and to be chased around the house by his daddy. My WHY is a gift from God, a gift that allows me to persevere...to continue when things don't go so well. My WHY doesn't care how much money I make (or don't make), what I drive, or if I know "important" people. My WHY doesn't judge me...as long as I have a snack in the car when I pick him up from daycare. My why even created this blog for me...I only have to do the typing. My why is writing my book for me...growing my coaching business..building my charter school...and my other business endeavors.
Part of becoming and being the BEST DADDY EVER, for me at least, is leaving a legacy for my son. For him to HAVE something...to OWN something...something with his name on it...so that he can forgo the struggles that his previous generations endured....and so that he may do the same for his child...and so on.
With this purpose...with this why...with this foundation...I will never give up, I will continue to be meticulous, driven, dedicated, and committed to my creation. So that the generations that come after me, will look at something that stood the test of time, as we look at those pyramids today, and say..."How did great-great granddaddy Malone do it?"
And it still won't matter how...only WHY.....
To all the BEST DADS EVER out there....stay strong...keep the faith...remain committed...finish what you started....you know why....
Last month, my son had his pre-birthday party at his school. All of the kids have parties at the school, where the parents bring cake and or cupcakes, or ice-cream, or whatever, to share with their son or daughter's classmates. This is usually done in addition to whatever party the parents throw for their child that weekend, and it s a good idea just in case everyone from the class wasn't necessarily invited to the other party (more kids...more cost...an issue for many in this economy).
So, a couple of weeks ago, when it was Daniel's turn to party with his classmates, his mom brought cupcakes with gummy worms (always a favorite), and set up the table in the kids cafeteria in preparation for his class' arrival. When Daniel and his 9 classmates arrived in the cafeteria to this nice surprise, the other kids were buzzing with excitement. "Daniel, Daniel...you're having a party...its your birthday!!!", one of his classmates exclaimed. They were all shouting and energized, as they prepared to tear into those cupcakes. Daniel, who is like the Fonz in Happy Days to his classmates...only 10 times cooler, gave a sly smile with an expression on his face like "yeah, what did you expect...I AM the man you know..." Just too cool. (I was NEVER that cool when I was little)
So we were all sitting down with Daniel, the other kids, and his teacher, as they munched on cupcakes and plotting on eating someone else's cupcake..... the 3 year-old, inquisitive, pondering, questions began.....fired in succession from every which direction like a BP press conference...."You're Daniel's dad, aren't you?" "Does Daniel get to go home after this?" "Are those glasses you're wearing?" "How old are you?" "You have a green shirt!" "Is Daniel going to have another party?"
But my responses were just as rapid and engaging. I guess I really enjoyed the attention from Daniel's classmates, and I was soaking up every minute of it! I started asking them questions...what was their favorite food...favorite book...did they REALLY like strawberry gummy worms...what did they learn in school today...what was everyone's name. I then started pointing out similarities between everyone, like "Heather, you have a blue shirt...who else at the table has a blue shirt?" One thing you learn from being around a bunch of 3 year-olds, is if you ask one a question, you may have well asked everyone the same question....because they will ALL answer...loudly. But I enjoyed talking with them so much...they kept asking me more questions...and I LOVE answering questions, so I kept obliging them. Daniel seem to give the other kids this look like, "you all don't realize what you've started...my dad loves this type of attention."
So after we all ate cupcakes, and it was time to go, Daniel's teacher pulled me to the side and said "You were really good with the kids, you should come back again some day soon." And you know I jumped at the opportunity. I said, "Of course, I could read them some stories." "That would be great." Daniel's teacher said. (If she only knew at the time...what she was unleashing....Dame? A captive audience...all watching me...PLUS I'm Daniel's dad...which gives me street cred....its ON!) The chances of me ending up in a straight jacket...or otherwise carted out...were now extremely high.
So I arrive at Daniel's school yesterday...armed with "One Fish, Two Fish.." and "The Foot Book" by Dr. Seuss in one hand, and "Dewey Does It" and several backup books in the other hand. I was ready for anything...ready for battle...but as nervous as if I was getting ready to speak in front of 1000 people.
My mission: To captivate this audience of ten 3 year-old children, while not breaking anything...getting sidetracked into a discussion of quantum mechanics or economics with the kids....embarrassing my son and costing him somewhere between 3 and 5 "cool points"...passing out from the pressure...frightening or otherwise emotionally scarring a 3 year-old...or otherwise not being invited to come back.
The pressure was on...but I was equal to the task.
As I walked in Daniel's classroom, he was busy with a complex puzzle of fruits and veggies and didn't notice me...but two of the kids did...and not just any two...but Karma and Brianna...the other two pieces of the Daniel Love Triangle...seriously, its like a soap opera..."two young ladies vying for the attention of one young man...friends on the surface...but inside....each plotting on the other...who will win the affection of the handsome Daniel??? Who will end up with his purple Ring-Pop??? Only time will tell...stay tuned..for..." Anyway, I'm getting off the subject...I'll save that one for another post.
But anyway, those two girls immediately hollered out..."Daniel, Daniel...your Daddy is HEEEERRRREEE!" Almost simultaneously, like each one wanted to be the first to let him know. So, he looks over, with a confused-like smile...like "what..hold up...wait a minute...what is this???....no....no....REALLY???... really..dad..dad....WHAT are you about to do???...do NOT embarrass me in here...please tell me you are bringing me my favorite jacket because I left it....ok...dad...whatever you are here for...just try to remember there are two pretty girls in here that like me...and I'm trying to play it cool..." (all in one look...we just have that soft of connection...but anyway) The teacher explained to the class that Daniel's dad was going to read some stories to them.
So to make a long story short...I KILLED! (In a comedic and entertaining sense of course) If there is ONE thing Daniel's Daddy can do...that is read a story...but I don't just read the story...we were jumping and running and stomping and raising left foots..and other left foots...for an hour, I had total reign...and I went absolutely bonkers...and so did the kids. At one point, I looked over to Daniel's teacher who was in the class and she had this look that was like 'Ok, there is something wrong with this man...I never knew he was crazy...how is he not in an institution?" But that was my moment! I was going to milk it for everything it was worth. Plus it was a chance to make my son proud...which it appeared that I did...and to be the cool dad (I always wondered what that felt like)...and I succeeded! Plus I wasn't thrown out! Good times.
Later after school, when I picked Daniel up, I asked him...."So did you enjoy having daddy come and read to your class?" "Yes", he said. "You want daddy to come back and read to you all again, don't you." "NO!", he replied.
But I understood. Its not that I embarrassed him or anything...but he probably just doesn't like sharing the Best Dad EVER! At least, that's the way I interpreted it! lol
Here's to the dad's out there...do it all...go crazy...get silly...but whatever you do...BE THE BEST DAD EVER!
Much love,
Daniel's Dad
This past Halloween was my son's first trick-or-treat experience...and what an experience it was for him! He had an absolute blast! When I asked him what he wanted to be for Halloween, he said, "I want to be a dinosaur"...I was a bit nervous, because I didn't know where you could find a dinosaur costume, but luckily, his mother found him one. Of course when he first tried it on a few days before the big day...his cuteness factor broke the scale. Here...
He was so excited running around with his cousins, going door to door, getting candy. I'm sure he never realized how much he could score with the good stuff, just by going up to a door, holding a bag, and saying "trick or treat". After about an hour his bag was stuffed, and getting heavy, but that didn't stop Daniel. He refused to let anyone hold his bag and he continued to lug it from house to house....he was not going to let that bag of goodies out of his sight for one minute!
As we canvassed the entire neighborhood for what seemed like hours, my thoughts, as they often do when watching my son, went back to my own childhood days of trick-or-treating. It was my first time participating since I was about 9 years old. I had forgotten how much fun it was for the kids...and the parents...but for totally different reasons. My son's fun comes from participating, my fun, as it usually does, comes from his having fun.
My thoughts went to my own dad, and how he must have felt watching me and my brother trick-or-treat back in those days. As a very conscientious child, my often wondered back then why the grown ups weren't as excited about getting candy as we were, not realizing that their excitement was watching their children do something fun and exciting. But they were excited...just from living vicariously through us...their happiness experienced and expressed a different way from ours, but no less intense.
Everything seems to come full-circle when you become a dad. Answers to questions you had as a child...come to you when you are a dad...not only what you were feeling back then, but what your own dad must have been feeling and why. Its quite interesting to think that one day my son will go trick-or-treating with his own son or daughter...and to consider what his thoughts would be as he watches their excitement. And its humbling to think that he will reflect on his experiences with his own dad, and better understand how I felt back when he was a kid.
Knowing that everything that happens now, between me and my son, affects more than just he and I, but also generations to come, strengthens my resolve to be the best dad I can possibly be. My greatest joy also being my greatest responsibility in life.
I'm glad you had fun Daniel....daddy did too!
